narea

as i start to fall,

i pause, take a breath and relook it all,

all the pain, hurt and misery,

all of the things i thought i couldn’t be,

i rethink about all of this,

i get lost in the mix.

i’m falling now, very fast,

i can’t help but hope this feeling lasts,

falling is what has made me realize,

all of these things, now i fantasize,

about the things i’ve lost in the mix,

but now i know, so it can be fixed,

as i plummet further into the dark,

i feel a pain, as if a bite from a shark,

this pain is awesome, amazing and kind,

as all the good things go on rewind,

i’ve been sitting here, sad and depressed,

when there’s always been the underlying things to be impressed,

i’ve realized now, that they’res always a grey area,

but to get over it, you have to fall into narea.

2 years ago  /  3 notes

fuck you, dad.

Starting from when I was little,

You left me feeling broken and brittle,

Damage, hurt and pain piling high,

So young I couldn’t even comprehend why.

Why someone who “loves you” can cause so much pain,

Then just say sorry and do it again

As I got older you started raising your hand,

Now this I REALLY couldn’t understand.

My mother would try to step in,

But you’d just hurt her too then

I remember crying and trembling lying in my bed all night,

Falling asleep to the lullaby of her and yours latest fight.

I felt as if it was all my fault,

As if my stupidity was the cause for assault

I don’t remember much from back then,

But I sure as hell remember that damned kitchen.

Where most of those nasty bruises were set,

Now those I will never forget.

where most of the names where called,

where pain, hurt and fear was installed.

I remember all the slaps being swung,

Heat of the moment angry hits being sprung,

And Inappropriate names being sung.

I honestly, for the life of me

Still had no clue why you did this to my family.

But that was then, and this is now,

I’m not sure how but I understand now,

It wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t any of ours.

It was yours, yours and only yours.

So now I’m aware, and it’s time for ME too leave.

But just like you, I’m not leaving sad, just very mad.

So my last words to you? Fuck you, dad.

2 years ago  /  2 notes

ages of abuse

Innocent, only 8 years old

Young little girl gets told

“your useless and dumb”

And then some.

Frightened, only 9 years of age

He hits her in a fit of rage

She was confused as to why he did this,

For it wasn’t even her who made him pissed.

Scared, only 10 years young,

He found a dirty dish and his hand sprung

He’d hit yell and holler at her

But why?  She wasn’t sure.

Brave, now 11 years old

She was told

“your disgusting, ugly and fat”

She was so sick of him saying that.

So she told the man what she had been wanting to say.

And things weren’t the same after that day.

About a year later, he left.

Left  her, her mom and her sisters

Scarred and without a mister.

Now she’s 14 years old

And HE gets told

“your meaningless, abusive and deserve nothing more,

Then for when you leave that your ass gets hit by the door.”

And those 7 years of pain he caused

 Yelling and hitting her with those filthy paws.

Have done nothing but made her stronger.

But that doesn’t make him any less wronger.

But if you thought all that was bad,

How about I tell you this poem is about me and my dad?

2 years ago  /  1 note